And I wanted to write poetry but I decided against it because there was not enough music, not enough flair, not enough feeling to put into it.
Maybe it was because of the weather or the season or the politics or religion…
It was autumn and the leaves were falling in turns from the soon-to-be-naked trees outside my window.
I was still searching for something new to write – something that would spice up my work and make it feel more relevant.
I had gotten to that point in my writing career where I felt at a standstill; as if I had climbed a mountain and was standing on its top with no means to get to the next mountain or even go back down.
As a writer, whenever you reach that point in your life, you should always try to challenge yourself and venture into something new.
But my problem here was – as it so often was – that I couldn’t make up my mind regarding my next prospective challenge.
Was it time to start a novel? I wasn’t sure I had the stamina for it.
Was it time to switch to poetry? It seemed too much of a challenge.
Was it time to move on to essays?
Tough decisions to make.
I realized the only way to answer these questions was to get a drink first. So I poured myself a fifth of whiskey and drank…
Now my head felt heavier and every time I tilted on the side I could hear the liquid booze inside my skull shifting to the side of my head like water in a fish bowl.
Man, it felt good to be drunk – I wish I could get paid to do it.
But I figured, hell, I’ve already gotten myself in this writing thing and it would be silly and scary to drop it now and search for something else to grind my teeth on for what’s left of my life.
So I decided to stick to what I was doing – something I like to call ‘Dynamic Writing’ – and that’s jotting down whatever thought crosses your mind.
And I’ll tell you, that’s a whole lot different than opening your diary or journal or whatever and writing about your day and including your feelings and other people.
Dynamic writing’s an entirely different game: it relies on instinct and quick, lightning-fast thinking and heartless reproduction of content. You don’t put too much thought into it, into rephrasing the sentences to make them sound better or fixing up a scenario to make it more polite or acceptable.
Oh, and another thing – Dynamic Writing requires a lot of selfishness. That’s the reason a lot of people move away from it. It should be about you – and only you.
Never mind the people. Never mind the opinions. Never mind the world.
In fact, screw the world and forget about it while you write your way into your own.
That’s the point here after all: making something new and beautiful. Think of it like planting seeds: new seeds can’t grow properly if they’re planted on top of old ones. They need their own space.
So manage your space and write on. Write dynamically, brutally and honestly. It’s the only way you’ll ever make the most of writing, and it’s the only way it’ll turn out any good.
I took out a pen and paper and tried to work on some verses for a poem. After writing a couple down, I read them out loud. Who am I kidding, I told myself, this is utter bullshit.
And I threw the paper away and went out for a drink.
I was definitely not ready for poetry yet.