Back to his Best

‘You take time to warm up to people,’ she said.

‘Uh-huh.’

‘But I think that once you do, you become a lot more open. You become accessible, and maybe even funny.’

‘Ok.’

‘Funny man.’

‘Funny man?’

‘Yes, you. Funny man. Why’d you have to act all depressed all the time? Don’t you ever get tired of it?’

‘I’m not acting. It’s not a choice.’

‘What is it then?’

‘The way I am.’

‘Because you write?’

‘Because I’m a writer.’

‘Does that come like a sort of baggage with it?’

‘It does.’

‘Why is that?’

‘Because we see too much.’

‘Too much of what?’

‘Of everything.’

‘You mean the world?’

‘Yes, the world.’

‘Can’t you stop seeing and close your eyes for a moment?’

‘I tried.’

‘And?’

‘It didn’t work.’

‘Well what did you see?’

‘Everything.’

‘Why are writers such difficult people?’

‘Because they’re not really people. They’re not like the rest.’

‘And is that why you haven’t been with a girl for a while? Because you think girls are different from you too?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Well what do you know?’

‘I don’t know much.’

‘How about me then? Do you think I’m different too?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Do you think I’m an attractive woman?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Would you like me to kiss you?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Or maybe give you a nice back rub or caress those hard cheek bones of yours.’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Well dammit, if you’re just gonna stand there looking all serious and focused, then I’m not having any of it! There are tons of men out there chasing me and trying to get in my pants right now!’

‘Ok.’

‘Damn you! Damn all the writers! Damn you!’

‘…’

‘Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get loud. I’m sorry. I’m terribly sorry. It’s unlike me to act like this. I don’t know what got into me.’

‘…’

‘Will you forgive me?’

‘Ok.’

‘Do you think I’m an attractive woman?’

‘Yes.’

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